Grief

Blog by Norma 

Grief is a complex aspect of life that affects us all at some point. There is no one way to cope with grief; however, understanding grief can help us make the journey through it a little easier. 

WHAT IS GRIEF?
Grief is an emotional reaction to loss, usually accompanied by intense emotions such as sadness, shock, and loneliness. It can present itself with physical or somatic symptoms of fatigue, headaches, stomachaches, weight changes, confusion, and insomnia. It can be the result of many emotions and has many causes: breakup or divorce, medical diagnosis, change in life stage, loss of pet or friendship. 

Understanding the various stages and types of grief can help us better navigate the non-linear and highly unique experience of grief. 

TYPES OF GRIEF

• Anticipatory Grief: happens before the loss, is complicated as individuals may feel it is wrong to grief before a loss happens
  • allows individuals time to process and make sense of loss 
• Disenfranchised Grief: individuals experiencing this type of grief may feel judged for experiencing grief
  
  • people experiencing may think they have nothing to grieve over and that society doesn't recognize their grief
• Delayed grief: occurs days, weeks, or months after loss
  • can be delayed due to shock as shock decreases a person's ability to understand or experience other emotions 
• Collective grief: happens to a group of people, typically when an adverse experience happens to a community 
• Cumulative grief: when someone over a short period experiences multiple losses 
  • challenging to process through grief as it is complex in nature due to various origins 
• Complicated grief: when someone gets stuck in a grief reaction (when grief interrupts your daily life functioning for more than a few months) 
  
  • signs: regularly researching topics around the cause of a loved one's death, feeling an intense longing for a lost loved one that negatively impacts mental health to the point of feeling hopeless  

STAGES OF GRIEF 

• Denial: happens immediately after a loss and during a period of shock; might believe loss didn't happen or challenging to accept it occurred
  
• Anger: natural and can be helpful, might be a way for someone to process the reality of loss 
  
• Testing: trying to find ways to "fix" the loss 
  
• Bargaining: finding compromise or reaching an agreement with loss or grief even when the bargaining is unrealistic 
  
• Depression: experience intense feelings of sadness, emotional detachment, and isolation 
• Acceptance: people become settled with their loss, accept reality, and look for ways to move forward 

Coping with grief is complicated. Using pre-existing coping strategies and relying on one's natural resilience are great ways to cope. If experiencing grief, ask yourself a few questions: What resources do I have to help me manage? What negative experiences have I had, and how did I cope with them? What would be helpful to me in reducing the intensity of my grief? 

Healing after loss is complicated and can sound impossible if you are in the midst of the grieving process. Healing includes caring for oneself and getting back to a regular routine. Helping a loved one through grief involves picking up on their non-verbal cues, as communicating their needs may be difficult. Remember to give those grieving space if they need it and time to reflect. 

If you or someone you know is experiencing grief, reach out to a mental health provider and try some of the tips in this blog to ease the process. 

Source: Zencare. (2023, December 4). Managing grief and coping with loss. Managing Grief and Coping with Loss. https://blog.zencare.co/managing-grief-and-coping-with-loss/